While the thoughts of a wedding can fill one’s heart with joy, planning one can be stressful, time-consuming, overwhelming, and expensive. However, with the help of friends and family, especially parents, the process can be much easier and enjoyable.
Below, we explored a few ways parents can help their children ensure that the wedding planning goes smoothly and ends up as a success.
In This Article
1. Be honest about finances
Planning a wedding these days is expensive. So it makes sense that parents consider ways to support their children financially. However, no law, whether written or not, requires parents to contribute money to their child’s wedding.
Fortunately, these days Brides and grooms tend to have the financial capacity to fund their weddings. Regardless, parents should try to initiate conversations regarding any donations they might make to the wedding.
Don’t expect your children to bring up the issue regarding your contribution—it’s awkward. Instead, you should let your children know, early in the engagement, if you’d be contributing or not. However, note that you are under no obligation to contribute. So if you lack the financial capacity to contribute, let your son or daughter know. And if you can, you should also let them know, offering details of what you intend on contributing towards the wedding to avoid mix up.
Don’t have money to contribute? You can help out in many ways. For instance, you can decide to make the cake if you are a pro hand baker, host the welcome drinks at your home, or help in any way the bride or groom would like.
2. Don’t put yourself in the spotlights.
Did you contribute the most to the wedding? Regardless, try not to make yourself the center of the event. Did you make the cake, the food, and the decoration? It doesn’t matter. Don’t put yourself in the spotlights.
Remember, it’s not your day. The wedding is for the couple, so don’t steal the spotlight for whatever reason. Instead, let your children enjoy their day to the fullest without any interference.
Don’t impose your idea on them just because you are paying for the whole wedding or because you invested significant effort and time into its planning.
3. Offer advice where you can
At some point, your daughter might request your advice or recommendation. When such happens, ensure you offer the best.
When it comes to advice regarding the bride’s outfit, you should emphasize the need to order the wedding dress 8 months before the wedding. Plus, you may also want to advise the bride to pay attention to silhouette, color, embellishments, and fabric.
Regarding the bridesmaid, you should advise your daughter to instruct her bridesmaid to shop true to their size and body features. Plus-size bridesmaids should go for plus size bridesmaid dresses; the same applies to tall ladies or those with unique characteristics. It’s crucial that you only offer advice when asked. And when asked for your take on something, always provide constructive comments.
4. Get outfit consent
Don’t just select an outfit out of excitement. Instead, ensure you run your outfit by the couple, especially the bride. There are many cases regarding brides wondering how to tell their mom that they don’t want her wearing a black outfit to the wedding. Or it could be that the couple has a certain dress code in mind that they want you, a special guest, to follow.
Are you sure your daughter is ok with that gray gown? Ask her. What about fathers? Are you sure the couple is ok with you wearing a red tie? Ask. Get the consent of the couples before selecting any outfit to ensure that you are both on the same page.
5. Offer to help often
Weddings are a sight to behold. However, planning a wedding can be challenging. Keeping guests happy and entertained is the hardest part, as it involves lots of activities and attention to detail. It is definitely something two people cannot handle. And this is where you come in as a mom or dad.
Check in often with the couple to see if you can help take any burden off their shoulders, especially during the final weeks when they are exhausted.
Again, don’t intrude. Ask how you can help. Don’t just do things without asking for approval. Remember, it’s the couple’s wedding, not yours.
6. Don’t embarrass them
Have you seen the movie “The Wedding Planner?” If yes, we bet you remember the part where Jennifer Lopez’s coordinator character had to conceal the bride’s mother’s lucky microphone to stop her from singing terribly at the reception. Don’t be that kind of parent.
Remember, your child’s wedding will be attended by different types of people, from the bride and grooms’ colleagues to their bosses and their former college mates. No matter how easygoing and funny you plan to be on that day, there are some things your children don’t want you to share in front of these individuals.
So if you are asked to present a speech during the wedding reception, do it without embarrassing the bride or groom or anyone in attendance. Aren’t sure if you should include a certain joke or anecdote/ Get permission from the bride or groom.
Your speech should be straight to the point, clean, and void of offensive jokes or swearing. You should also try to monitor your alcohol intake before the speech so you don’t mount the podium and utter things that could embarrass the bride and groom.
7. Steer clear from family politics
Try to keep the couple far away from family politics.
Did your daughter ask her birth father to give her away rather than her stepfather? Respect her choice. She would have already thought of it thoroughly before informing you.
Are there feuding uncles in your family? Keep the couple out of it. However, you can quietly tell them to seat the uncles apart to prevent any outburst that might mar the wedding ceremony.
Conclusion
As a caring parent, you’ll feel the urge to assist your children with the wedding planning process. While this urge is good, it’s important you don’t overstep your boundaries. Remember, it’s not your wedding. So quell the urge to make plans according to how you deem fit.
