Some mothers shatter at the thought of their kids wearing torn jeans, and some mothers will cheer them up.
All of us share different kinds of relationships with our mothers. Naturally fashionable mothers encourage their children to experiment with their looks, and they sport matching family t-shirts while out for a picnic or brunch together.
A traditional mother might complain about her children wearing only western clothing. Both have two things in common: a conventional mom or a modern one. Both want to feed you enormous amounts of food and are curious about your life beyond them.
Fashion is one topic that you can discuss easily with your mom. But there are specific rules for it— don’t talk about fashion when your mother is busy at work or when she looks stressed. Catch her in one of her relaxed moments and brew her and yourself cups of fresh coffee/tea.
Now let the excellent gossip begin.
Ask her story
Ask anyone, and they will tell you that moms are the best muses—many prominent people in fashion talk about how their moms have shaped their worldviews. Mothers are often the standard by which many measures all things good.
Before becoming a mother, every mom was a carefree girl who liked dressing up. Ask your mom about her younger days, and nostalgia would serve as a bridge between your mom and you.
Sipping her tea, she would reminisce about how her mother made her wear matching outfits for the family. She will also remember dressing up with her friends for school and college events.
Your mom might also give you details of her life that surprises you. Talking about fashion might become a revealing sesh for the two of you.
Talk about Fashion and Self- Expression
Once you have eased your mom into opening up, don’t be shy about telling her your own fashion story. Start with something like, “Mom, when things go a little whacky for me, fashion keeps me sane.”
Your mother might be startled at such a bold remark, but she will slowly understand your passion for fashion. Open your heart up and share with her instances where style made you feel empowered.
Our mothers come from a different era, the challenges of which might not be the same as ours. But there is always some common ground, some common issues that are good conversation starters.
Tell your mom about how fashion and self-expression are inter-linked and how styling clothes is now considered an art form. Show your mom how you see the world.
Show her pictures of your friends and your life. Introduce and welcome her into your lived experiences. You will see her willing to know and understand more about your choices— fashion or otherwise.
Strike a Balance
Mothers want to see their children in traditional wear at times. The young lot think it as taking away their liberty and rebel by exclusively wearing western clothes.
Make space for your mom and wear traditional clothes occasionally to make her feel special. Make it a two-way process. Encourage her to wear western clothes. If she feels shy or comfortable, buy matching family t-shirts and wear them together.
Trendy vs Timeless
Ask your mom to bring out the family photo albums. As you two dissect the photographs together, discuss trendy and timeless fashion. With her back-stories of the pictures, your mom will give you the information you missed out on earlier.
You might realise that you have inherited her eye for things. Your mom, who looks plain now, was a diva in her younger days. You will notice that her resilience, practical sense and other admirable traits are all gifts she passed on to you.
Talking about fashion will make you two close in unexpected ways. You can even ask your mother to share some of her favourite traditional clothes with you. By admiring her taste in clothes, you will be able to understand her better.
Gender-fluid Fashion
As you grow up, parents become more childlike, and it becomes the children’s responsibility to introduce them to new things happening in the world.
If you want to tell your mom that you have a preference for clothes opposite to traditionally gendered ones, then be careful not to overload her.
Slip the bit about your fashion choice casually. Tell her, “Mom, you know more people are choosing to wear gender-fluid clothes.” When she asks you the meaning of the term “gender-fluid”, then explain the term in easy words.
Tell her mom that there are no strict divisions in fashion anymore. Young people are finding new ways to express themselves through their clothes.
Also, don’t expect your mom to understand it right away. Give her time and repeat things so that she can gain insight. Once she understands it well, you will see her showing off her new information with her friends in no time.
Mutual Learning and Appreciation
The whole point of explaining fashion to your mom is to make her see things from your viewpoint. But you will soon realise that your mom also has stories of her own and stories about fashion, food and life that will move you and make you appreciate your mom.
You will understand that you know yourself and your mom a bit more through this conversation about fashion. This will allow you to respect the wishes of your mom to wear traditional clothes occasionally.
The day won’t be far when she would bring out family T-shirts and ask you to click pictures of you two together.
